Monday, June 26, 2006

Former U.S. diplomat John Brown has revealed a top secret State Department telegram sent to all U.S. ambassadors, authorized by Karl Rove (SF Chronicle, pg. E2, Sunday, June 25, 2006). In sum, every U.S. ambassador, world wide, has been directed to commit suicide on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 at 8:30 A.M., local time.

The impetus for this executive order was the Graffy Initiative, asserted in a recent interview with BBC, that the three suicides of Arab detainees at Guantanamo were "a good PR move to draw attention."

Determined not to be outdone in the PR struggle by a few rag tag Al Queda operatives flying by the seats of their pants, the Bush administration regards the mass suicide of US ambassadors as a public relations "Shock and Awe" event that will establish once and for all the unflinching determination of the planet's greatest superpower to stay the course.

Prior to the dispatch of the telegram, all ambassadors were placed under arrest in the event that some may be reluctant to follow this particular order from their president, who has agreed (after consulting with God, of course) that just this once, he will allow an exception to his firm resolve against the practice of assisted suicide.

Since gwb only reads children's books and the easy parts of the Bible, it is assumed that Rove, an expert on the serious works of Jonathan Swift, is the souce of the diplomatic suicide concept:

Ballad of Jonathan Swift

John Swift in 1729
distraught at the fate of the starvation

Proposed a modest solution for the good of all
especially the rich of the nation

Fat up the poor on potatoes and cabbage
and plenty of milk for their young, then

To savor human flesh, roasted and broiled
simply educate the aristocrat's tongue.

Don Brennan


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